cagejam (cagejam) wrote,

In about half an hour I’m going to buy legal pot for the first time in my life.
After checking the online catalog of current products we decided on some sativa and hybrid flowers, some sativa tincture spray and some hybrid tinctures.
Eating some pot and going outside.

I’m so insanely proud of myself. During this quarantine I could give myself excuses to become complacent and ineffective but I chose not to. Instead I’ve been practicing self discipline and encouraging my determination. Hedy and Loren deserve my full attention. I could be on Instagram seeking validation and cheap dopamine but I’m not. I could be placing value on relationships with people I can’t ever see but I’m not. I’m watering my grass. I’m tending to my garden. I’m making my true and real life as dreamlike as possible. Little Mercedes would be proud of me. I’m proud of me. I’m on my second book so far. We eat good. I make Hedy her food and loren makes me my food and we are all working together.

We found the perfect house for us. $55,000. 4 bedrooms 3 bathrooms and a huge yard. I’m going to see what I can do about that while also not getting my hopes up. Our next big goals are a house and another baby. We’ve been knocking our todo lists out cold. If anyone can do it, it’s us.

Life is so fucking good. I’m honored to wash dishes and tidy up. I’m privileged to wake up at all. I don’t care to be offended or argue or be angry. It isn’t for me. It isn’t effective. Collaboration is it. We are all so fucking lucky. Minor differences do not change that. Perspective rules everything. I’m done with victimizing myself. I’m done giving my power away.
The life of my dreams is on the other side of self pity.
You can find me there.

  • (no subject)

    her submission is worth nothing when she submits to anything

  • 2 me, too me

    I don't even want that kind of attention, I just want to want it

  • (no subject)

    absence of presence presence of absence

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