February 28th, 2019

(no subject)

I have counseling at 10:00 am. Women’s Group. I can’t sleep in past 5:00 am, but usually wake up at 4:00. I don’t mind at all, the sun has been rising earlier and earlier and before I know it, it will be waking up with me.

In the summer time when the sun rises at 4:45, the earth is awake but my neighbors sleep. Early warm walks in silence. Watching the sunrise from the local parks. I’m tired of not making the most.

I just bought a book on the divine feminine. I have 50 pages of my current book to finish before I start this one (The Nature of Personal Reality- Jane Roberts). This will be the 3rd book I’ve tried to read on either a phone or kindle, I haven’t finished a single one yet. I prefer the tangible pages and certainty of ending. We will see.

I see the issues that I face. I see them in everyone I meet. But everyone I meet doesn’t face their issues. It’s heart breaking, knowing what’s on the other side but being unable to take them there. Some journeys are to be taken alone, ya know.

I still haven’t painted, I still haven’t installed the shop floors.
I wish I didn’t wake up needing to throw up every day. I’d wish for certainty, but I’m not sure that’s what I need.

I have the space I have the time.