August 5th, 2019

(no subject)

I woke up at 3:34 this morning. I had work at 6 am, so I just stayed up. There’s something about disrupted sleep schedules that gives me joy. Reminiscent of being a teenager or something. One of the habits I’m working on breaking right now is ..::: hard to explain. I guess it’s comfort. I need distance from it. It’s nice to feel comfortable but it’s routine and predictable and snuffs out my inspiration. More 2 am walks when I can’t sleep. More spontaneity. I don’t mean to be wild. I don’t mean to be irresponsible. But there is a huge freedom on the other side of daily expectations. I’m never gonna be this young again and.... so it goes. I just want to make the most, not more of the same. I just wanna feel fulfilled and satisfied and less dependent on what I’m used to.

But everything is changing and I can feel it. Now is the time.