August 13th, 2019


It’s been a long day. I sit on the roof and watch people that I don’t know and people that I used to know walk by. Onto their lives. I know that I need a shower, and not much else. I don’t know much else, I don’t need much else. Maybe some popsicles. I have clean sheets on my bed, soft and cozy. I feel harsh today. It’s okay. Part of acceptance and love of self is taking what comes how it comes and not holding it against yourself. I’m pregnant and tired. Tired. Very tired today. Some days I wonder if I do too much, but the mountain of things that need done convinces me otherwise. Softness. Yes, softness. I should be softer with myself.

I want to live each day and be done with it, so why don’t I?
I want to pat mySelf on the back, so why don’t I?

I realized today just how much I’ve grown in the last 6 months. It’s funny because the whole time I’ve convinced myself otherwise. But I’m closer than ever to being enough for myself and that is something. Something special and something true. I am growing and learning and changing and accepting. Some days I will feel harsh, but I know that I am soft and cozy.

I know that I am not what I feel, so I allow it. They come and go, as they should.
Hello and goodbye and all the inbetweens.

This is life, always, now.
And here I am, as ever, always.

I don’t have any complaints, just room for improvement.