August 16th, 2019

(no subject)




I can’t help but wonder what my dog
Dreams of. Dog dreams. Before we adopted him he lived his entire life in a kennel. He’s 11 years old. His water bowl made me want to vomit, slime and other things. (One of my cats makes me change ALL of the water bowls in the house at least twice a day. Unfathomable.) He was eating food for big dogs and he only has 6 teeth. His fur was matted. He had a mass from between his ears all the way down to his tail- tense muscles- that we massaged out over the course of weeks. He’s so full of love and he’s a little genius. Sometimes it amazes me the things he understands. (2 of my 3 cats are pretty stupid, one of which is definitely handicapped...) So what does he dream of? Does he have nightmares of his youth? I wonder the format and context. I wish I could look inside just for a moment. All I know is that every morning, when he finally decides to wake up, he is overjoyed. There is no impact you can make that’s too small to count.

(no subject)

Today I feel very in love. Very in love with myself. The way I paint my nails every two days at most. The way I adorn my body. The way my purse is always organized. The way I infuse meaning and magic into everything I do. The hours I spend watching my birds and bees. The overwhelming love I have for animals, my own in particular. The depth to which I consider every possible thing. The way I cut my fruit and prepare my tea. My forgetfulness and my forgiveness. How I am kind and loving towards most everyone I encounter. The times I am stern because I respect myself. The length of my hair and the blonde patches at my temples. How my belly is hairy and how much I don’t mind. The way I read my books and mark all of the pages. The hours I spend writing to myself. My deep connection to my family and how I know I’ll pass it on to you. My sentimental nature and my creative fire. The way I never comb my hair. The look on my face when I’m lost in thought or feeling. My knowledge and room for more. The insatiable drive I feel coursing through my body. My romance and my practicality. My eagerness to laugh and my stubbornness when I cry. I am feeling very in love. I am in love. I am love. My god, days like this, I swear I could fall into myself again and again and never grow tired of it. There is no one else I’d rather be.