August 21st, 2019

(no subject)

science is our modern religion.
But what do you believe in?

There is magic in the mystery, do not let them steal it from you.

How is not Why
No matter how many fancy made-up words they use to explain it.

Why is where the magic is.

(no subject)

Study brings me peace. There is so much to learn and the impossible temptation to dive right in. You can not hold the ocean of knowledge. You can only let it pass by as you stare in awe. Amazement. And then it’s gone, and then you’re gone.

What amazes you?

I think I’ll study calligraphy and perhaps other lost art forms as well. Importance depends upon what time you happen to exist.

What will be important to you? What will amaze you?

I could never be a doctor.

(no subject)

My eyes have been puffy for days. I’ve been crying a lot. Everything and everyone has been making me cry. The tears form. I release them but feel no burden relieved. Some times you just have to try. Music sounds deeper to me now. I feel it differently. Much like the wet grass and sunshine feel strange to me these days. I wish you didn’t break my favorite pot but I’ll replace it, again. “Help” is subjective and most days I’d rather do it alone even if it’s hard. I prefer myself and it’s that simple. I am familiar with my effort and my longing and my processes no matter the time and change. Sometimes you just need darkness and candles and beautiful tunes. Sometimes you just need to let it be. Acceptance isn’t the final step, it’s the first. Not what you really wanted but how would you know? I give. It’s familiar, not comfortable. I take it. Again. I sit in my chair and I look up to the sky. It’s grey and I can’t tell if there are no clouds or only clouds. The in-between is a home away from. My birds are hiding from the rain and some things are just instinctual. There are no winners and losers outside of perception. There is no shame if you don’t want it.

If you don’t mind, who does?

I felt my baby’s head last night, pressed in between my ribs. For me, for you, now. Nothing else, elsewhere.

(no subject)

I’ve always been too smart for my own good. It isn’t pride, it’s truth.

And what I say of me, implies nothing of you, inherently.

(no subject)

I would love to have an anniversary
Some things get traded for others I suppose.
At least once we’re married we’ll have a time in space.
A little hole carved from infinity
(And other applied meaning.)

We’ve been together a long time
I can’t believe I’m having a baby and a life with my first boyfriend (one of two).
Sometimes life makes you laugh.