August 22nd, 2019

(no subject)

I’m sitting on my roof, drinking some coffee. I have 2 baskets of fruit to choose from for breakfast and a puppy who is ready for his nice long walk. I love having a dog. He keeps me on my toes and forces me to get up and out even when I don’t feel like it. I always feel better. Some days a woman follows us yelling obscenities “you bitch” “walk your dog somewhere else” “fuck you.” I carry a bag a pick up his poop. I’m pregnant and he’s a terrier. It’s comedic, just imagine getting so worked up over nothing. Amazing. Since both of my pairs of glasses broke, today I plan on getting some more. Loren went with me yesterday to try some on so I feel prepared, I’ve already picked the pair I want. They’re unlike any of the other glasses I’ve had and it feels similar to getting a hair cut or some other outward change. Encouraging positive change. Familiarizing myself with the methods of change and finding home someplace there. Nothing is forever except forever and it has little to do with us. The sun is beginning to feel hot against my back. The sunrise is coming later and later, proof that fall is inevitable. I love to wake up with the sun. We wake up by 5 am every morning. Who would have thought?

I remind myself that my body is not just my body these days, but also a portal of sustenance. I am already a provider. Once Loren is home from work I’ll go do laundry and wash all the new baby clothes we were gifted. I have been craving this moment for weeks- the moment I’ll be able to truly start the physical preparation. Time is flying and I have no complaints- none worth dwelling on- none worth worry.

I have popsicles in the freezer and water in my belly. I have a heart full of love and a handle on reality. Things are things and here I am. We’re fucking doing it, man.