November 20th, 2019

(no subject)

Hedy bear is full of gas. ( Gassed up? ) We’ve watched countless videos on massage techniques to relieve this gas. It helps. Seeing your baby sad is a unique torture. It’s amazing how we can tell her cries apart. Creating our own language outside of words. Humans are amazing, instinctually, inherently. We don’t give ourselves enough credit in some ways, and far too much in others. Having a baby brought me back to the human animal that I am.

My pets adore her and it melts my heart entirely.

I’ve changed so much in such little time. I feel grown and new all at once. I’m rediscovering parts of myself that i had lost and exploring the parts I’d failed to notice before. It’s time to go through my wardrobe and remove anything that feels unlike the me I am now. Letting go of the past versions of myself and thanking them for their service. For serving me. We can change at any time, become, on purpose. Who we were yesterday doesn’t have to determine who we are today. Pick up and move, change, start over. Allow it. So much of life seems implied based on previous selves. There is some necessity but much less than we admit. Wear the thing, do the thing, let it change you. Boredom is inevitable when we live in a way we can no longer relate to.

I am happy and evolving. So quickly now.

I did a session on Loren, clearing out his solar plexus, his right leg and the darkness that was suffocating his divine masculine. He hasn’t purged too particularly but I do see a difference. We agree on it. I think he feels better. I feel better. Improvement doesn’t have to come only when something is broken. I taste the sweetness of life.

We get our SUV around Loren’s birthday and I can’t wait. This will be the newest and nicest car I’ve ever owned. No car payment? Reliable? Amazing. Blessed. Highly favored.

I’ve started a savings (however small it is now) for our future home. The more I think about it the more I act towards it- the more I act towards the goal, the closer it is. I really want to own my home. My dream home. My sanctuary. I never want to pay rent again. I think of Hedy and how I want her to have her own room. And her siblings too. And a room for guests to stay in when they visit. Real adult like, real grown. I am full of joy. Faith. Trust. Understanding.

The time is now, my time eternally.

(no subject)

oversized suit jackets, chilly family walks, ripe persimmons, fat birds, goodnight kisses, breastfeeding, baby hats with ears, spontaneity born of routine, glitter nail polish, planners, cleanliness, moisturizing, focus, business woman revelations, surprising oneself, luxury, source-ry, baby massage, intentional family time, bonding, late fall attire, watching the sun rise, chemical peels, peanut butter and banana sandwiches, romance, journaling no matter what, grapes, maintained discipline, complete trust, completeness, energy work, focus on the “what” rather than the “how”, adorning my body with you, making it true