cagejam (cagejam) wrote,

somehow and still

More presence. I feel myself take up the room with that which is beyond words. I am glowing, free, here and now. The full moon glows within me and answers all of my calls. I feel heard and desired. Today I plan to organize and sort my silk and satin pajamas as they’ve become a mass that takes up two of my 5 dresser drawers. My home is one of my most proud works of art and I love to enhance the space I live in. I feel like embroidering today. I feel like making something outside of myself. A womb within a womb or something like that.

No one has ever bathed in my bath tub (which is newly installed) and today feels like as good a day as any to change that. Let’s take a bath tonight, ok? I’ll bring the candles you bring the rest. I feel deeply romantic and sensual. I never want to lose those feelings. I’ve seen so many marriages wither and die and rather than dismay I find inspiration there. We are different. We’ve always been different. I want to woo you, me too.

I have a sore spot when it comes to the modern perception of romance and love. It seems dark and sad. There is no encouragement there. I don’t think believing in love is that crazy. It is perceived as something impossible and false but my experience is proof enough to me that this isn’t true. It just takes work and want. But without those I suppose it does become unlikely and we are in the age of instant gratification. One half doesn’t make up the whole and y’know.

Sometimes I look over to find my dog staring at me lovingly. Life is precious if you let it. I can’t remember what it’s like to do it all alone.

Movement is present and so is hope. You can find me somewhere in between.

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