I find comfort in the inherent solitude that is existence. Being the only me, just being. Inspired to create a self that I admire, rather than looking at anyone else with notions of what they must be for me. It’s so easy to fall into the rut of victimization, even at the most mild level. I don’t expect anyone to do or want to do whatever. I release deeper and deeper expectations every day. I hold myself to certain standards out of love, but I also emphasize allowing room to grow and breathe and learn. Change. Wherever I am, I want to be completely there. Even when I’d rather not. Even when I long for elsewhere. Fully surrender to the joy and the discomfort equally. One is not inherently better than the next. We don’t know which moments we will crave or the ways in which we will change. With Ease. Release all attachment to outcomes and processes. There is no destination outside of right now. Right now.
The shadows are growing longer and I am growing too. So are you.
It’s hard to recognize myself some days, when I look back.
I feel new.
I feel known.
Loren’s grandmother’s ring that is now mine. I will leave this ring to the baby I’m pregnant with if it’s a girl.