cagejam (cagejam) wrote,

My apartment door hasn’t had a lock on it in the 4 years I’ve lived here. Today Loren and I are buying a new door knob, with a lock, and it feels good. Security, having an apartment key finally. Privacy.

We are cluster feeding over here which means no alone time, no time to get much done, lots of time on the couch and/or in bed, lots of snuggles, some frustration, more love. It is all so temporary, so fleeting, that I do my best to savor it all, even the tough stuff. One day I will ask for cuddles and they won’t be there. Making the absolute most. Patience is a virtue. You have already taught me so much.

I make time to wash my face and put on makeup every morning. I make time to shower. I make sure to get dressed. I make sure I do my meditations and my yoga. These little things bring me comfort and keep me sane. I’ve lost myself enough times to realize the value of keeping things for myself, doing things for myself. I am teaching you habits and routines but I am also teaching myself. It’s easier to stay in pajamas and not wash my face and scroll on my phone but that isn’t who I want to be so it could only lead me to unhappiness. The awareness is priceless and life and self saving.

Thank god for espresso makers, books, magazines, meditation, early sunshine, late night tea, herbal blends made for smoking, clean homes, companionship, pets, oxytocin, fall, sweaters, pot, cookies, hot showers, how bodies heal themselves, painted nails, making milk, back massages, sharing the weight of the world with someone you adore

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