cagejam (cagejam) wrote,

Loren is off today. We spent our morning in bed, talking, doing bicycle kicks. Some coffee. Then cleaning up, fluffing couch cushions, last nights dishes, dirty clothes. Making jokes. Hedy is asleep now and we are about to do our daily yoga. I love to have him home, his transition to management can’t come soon enough.

I turned down a brand new furnace to spare myself the mess. Hopefully we are warm enough this winter. Typically my faith in something is enough to make it true so I will count on that and let it run from my mind. Let it out. Let it be.

After yoga comes smoothies. More cleaning. And more love. I can not stand a dirty home these days- even a little bit, even the slightest mess. It steals my focus, leaves me unable to relax. I move further and further from procrastination. I no longer long to put anything off. I equate this to being here now. Leaving nothing to later. Complete presence.

Within this more orderly life comes a new space for creativity. As I remove the grey cloud that comes from a full and growing todo list from myself, I see the opportunity for creation at every corner. The horizon is clear now, the potential is tangible. The fog lifts. The sun shines. There is plenty of time, and I can see it. Finally.

Together forever, and me.

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