cagejam (cagejam) wrote,

The days have a way of blending together. But rather than out of boredom and isolation, they blend through a type of merriment. Joy. Today is golden and tomorrow and yesterday. The way Hedy changes each day opens my eyes to the changes I go through myself. Daily. We are all fluctuating artifacts of yesterday, perpetually growing in one direction or the other. The changes can be intentional so long as the changes are realized, noticed. I am learning so much from my child. Every day. The changes I’m going through are clear as day. Clearly. There is no mistaking myself today for who I was yesterday. The everness of life.

My home feels like home. My body feels like home. My life feels like home. I’ve never felt more like myself, more at peace with myself, more at home. Home. I’ve redefined my idea of home without a second thought: without realizing at all.

I wish I had been able to take my kittens outside one last time before the cold hit. It was 17 degrees last night. The snow isn’t melting now. I am enjoying the chill. Chills. The colder weather doesn’t make me resentful these days. It doesn’t make me miss home. I learned how to love layering and the deep change that comes every year without fail. The reliability of death. I feel connected. Connectedness. Messy and true

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